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Showing posts from December, 2010

Get A Room

Brain room. Breathing room. Elbowroom. It's somewhat odd, the liberating feeling you get when you are finally able to have secrets of your own. when you are finally able to keep things to yourself if you want to without fear of getting interrogated. when you are finally able to care more about your dying grandmother than a life crisis an inconsiderate friend is going through. when you are finally able to have a freakin' minute to yourself. "Why don't you text me every week anymore?" "Why don't you respond to my random picture of the day texts anymore?" "Why do you care more about how broken your mother is over your grandma's death more than me?" "Why don't you tell me everything you're doing anymore?" "Why don't you pay more attention to my needs more than yours?" I don't know. I'm growing up and growing out of it, I suppose. Didn't realize it was a federal offense and resulted in the de

Help.

Three days till Christmas. The usual holiday cheer hasn't hit me.  I don't think it will.  There's been too much stress and fear that have blocked it out of my mind.  I mean, I should be happy right?  I have a great job. I just started dating this really amazing guy who respects me and makes me happy. Not to mention, he's the only guy that all my friends and family have actually liked for me. But I just can't be happy about it.  My grandma's in the hospital with congestive heart failure and  pneumonia. Even though her body is getting better, she's having hallucinating episodes all over the place.  Just today she refused to eat lunch and hasn't gone to the bathroom for over eight hours.  She keeps opening her eyes and says, "Bring me my lord" and "you are like your father." WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?? I hate hospitals. They are the bane of my existence. I don't know why my family insists that I become a nurse or something becaus

Just Another Tuesday.

Too tired to type. Too irritated to explain why. Too hungry to process anything.  Too sick of focusing on everyone else's happiness. Well, okay, maybe that last one was just half true. I want the new The Script CD to come out now. Can it be January 18, 2011 tomorrow?

Sweet-Bitterness.

God has been so good to me this year. It's been incredibly hard here and there; I've felt so low for so long.  At least I'm ending the year on a strong note.  I have a job. I'm dating someone who doesn't think I'm an obsessive little freak. If only it stayed this good... 16 days till our house is up for auction. What a way to start the new year.

Drained.

I just might be taking on more than I can handle right now. God, please help me.

Ugh.

Life sucks.  Today in particular.  Why can't I get my act together?