Parental Stress
I know that parents try to do what's best for their kids. Honestly, I totally understand that. But when you keep downplaying your child's dreams, just because you want them to be rich...that's crossing a very dangerous line. That's what's happening in my personal life at the moment. As a senior in high school, there's that pressure to be rich and famous. Your parents may tell you that's where the money is, but that may not be where your heart is. This is for all of you out there struggling with the pressure of your family's to live out their dreams through you. Here's an excerpt from one of Josh McDowell's books called "The Disconnected Generation."
We're different from you. We live in a different world and represent a different generation. We both live busy lives, And even though we don't spend a lot of time relationg to each other, we do spend enough time together for us to learn what you're really afraid of. You're afraid we won't get good enough grades in school. You're definitely afraid that we're having sex or that we soon will be or that peer pressure will lead us into drugs, alcohol, or a gang. And we sort of understand your fears. Your urgent message is pretty clear to us: "Stay out of trouble, and get good grades."
But do you know what? All that stuff doesn't really scare us much. In fact, we would like you to think that we already know a lot of things and are confident about who we are and what we want to become. We want you to be proud of us, but at the same time we want to be our own people, different but really important to you.
I know it may sound a little weird, but our world is full of weird people going through weird stages. We are experiencing a confusing time that you may call a phase, but we're afraid it may never end. Really, we're kind of afraid that you're even afraid of us. Like you're afraid because you don't think you know us anymore and maybe you can't trust us, or you're afraid we no longer want to be a part of you.
But deep inside, we long for you to break through our masks and know the real us - to value and trust us. We do want to feeel connected to you, like we really belong. I know at times it doesn't seem like that's what we're saying, with the strange things we do and say. But we're really saying that we feel disconnected, like we don't know who we are, and we're frightened that we'll never find out.
You know what's weird? We may not be so different after all, because I think you want that connection too. I think both of us want to need each other. Deep down, we really do want you to enter our world and help us figure out who we are. That's what we're saying, only maybe we're saying it in a strange way. That's because we're confused and struggling.
It seems like we are being measured all the time in terms of numbers and scores and performances that always seem just out of our reach. Each morning when the alarm goes off, our masks go on. We put on our clothes and jewelry and those attitudes of ours to hide our fears. A lot of times we get into sports or clubs or studies or boyfriends or girlfriends or something else just so we can be ourselves, or find ourselves, or maybe, even lose ourselves.
But do you know what? Most of us aren't finding ourselves. That's frustrating, and it hurts. Many of us have become angry inside. Most of us don't even know why we're angry. For that matter, most of us don't even realize that we have no sense of identity. But underneath it all, we feel the pain of being disconnected and along in our own world, and just below the surface, there's this seething anger.
You may not relate to our anger, but perhaps you can understand what we're feeling. Because you probably know what it's like to want to be loved for just being yourself without any strings attached. We think you can identify with that inner ache that longs for someone just to cry with you when you've been hurt or to hang in there with you when you've blown it. Wouldn't it be great to hear the words, "I'm proud of you, for just being you"? And wouldn't it be something to know that people think you are okay, even when your actions aren't always perfect?
Here's somthing else that would be great: We would love for you to look past our clothes and our music, to peer behind our masks and see the real us - and then to love what you see. That's what we're really looking for, but we're just not sure how to find it...
World's Apart: A Millennial's View
We're different from you. We live in a different world and represent a different generation. We both live busy lives, And even though we don't spend a lot of time relationg to each other, we do spend enough time together for us to learn what you're really afraid of. You're afraid we won't get good enough grades in school. You're definitely afraid that we're having sex or that we soon will be or that peer pressure will lead us into drugs, alcohol, or a gang. And we sort of understand your fears. Your urgent message is pretty clear to us: "Stay out of trouble, and get good grades."
But do you know what? All that stuff doesn't really scare us much. In fact, we would like you to think that we already know a lot of things and are confident about who we are and what we want to become. We want you to be proud of us, but at the same time we want to be our own people, different but really important to you.
I know it may sound a little weird, but our world is full of weird people going through weird stages. We are experiencing a confusing time that you may call a phase, but we're afraid it may never end. Really, we're kind of afraid that you're even afraid of us. Like you're afraid because you don't think you know us anymore and maybe you can't trust us, or you're afraid we no longer want to be a part of you.
But deep inside, we long for you to break through our masks and know the real us - to value and trust us. We do want to feeel connected to you, like we really belong. I know at times it doesn't seem like that's what we're saying, with the strange things we do and say. But we're really saying that we feel disconnected, like we don't know who we are, and we're frightened that we'll never find out.
You know what's weird? We may not be so different after all, because I think you want that connection too. I think both of us want to need each other. Deep down, we really do want you to enter our world and help us figure out who we are. That's what we're saying, only maybe we're saying it in a strange way. That's because we're confused and struggling.
It seems like we are being measured all the time in terms of numbers and scores and performances that always seem just out of our reach. Each morning when the alarm goes off, our masks go on. We put on our clothes and jewelry and those attitudes of ours to hide our fears. A lot of times we get into sports or clubs or studies or boyfriends or girlfriends or something else just so we can be ourselves, or find ourselves, or maybe, even lose ourselves.
But do you know what? Most of us aren't finding ourselves. That's frustrating, and it hurts. Many of us have become angry inside. Most of us don't even know why we're angry. For that matter, most of us don't even realize that we have no sense of identity. But underneath it all, we feel the pain of being disconnected and along in our own world, and just below the surface, there's this seething anger.
You may not relate to our anger, but perhaps you can understand what we're feeling. Because you probably know what it's like to want to be loved for just being yourself without any strings attached. We think you can identify with that inner ache that longs for someone just to cry with you when you've been hurt or to hang in there with you when you've blown it. Wouldn't it be great to hear the words, "I'm proud of you, for just being you"? And wouldn't it be something to know that people think you are okay, even when your actions aren't always perfect?
Here's somthing else that would be great: We would love for you to look past our clothes and our music, to peer behind our masks and see the real us - and then to love what you see. That's what we're really looking for, but we're just not sure how to find it...