It's come to this

Okay, so I published that last post first to say a few things.

I hate my life. That's it.







Oh, okay. Haha, you lovable nosy people.

If you ARE still reading this, bless your dearie hearts. Not a lot of people read this blog, and it's always a privilege to get some feedback once in a while.

Anyway, this reason why life just sucks right now is because...well. I am a loser. That pretty much sums it up. I know I totally sound like a petty seven year old, and I can be. I'm much more rational than this, believe me! It's just getting harder every day. To deal with all my shortcomings. I know in God's eyes, I'm anything but that. Still, it's hard to live a life where opportunity and success don't exist. I've been stuck in this pitiful rut since the fourth grade. And this loser train I'm on is getting faster and faster with no hope of ever stopping.

You know, I think I'm going to die of exasperation. Really. I'm sick of being here. Stupid California. Ridiculous friends. Annoying family. Endless moments of embarrassment. I just want to curl into a ball and sleep for fifty years. Or just disappear. Because God knows no one at Church will ask where I've gone to. And only a selected few will ever wonder what became of me.

Is this what others have gone through? I'm reading the book, and..well, the Book. Trying to find some grain of hope only to be disappointed because of my unbelievable personality. I'm an accident waiting to happen here, folks. Better get out of the way while you can.

Anyway, if you really ARE still reading this, then I hope you pray for me. Or I hope you comment. I need someone...anyone out there to respond to this. Sometimes it's like talking to a virtual wall. Where no one hears me but my keyboard and the air conditioner.

Well, here's to all the losers out there like me. Keep faking that smile, loves. It's only going to get worse.

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