The Contradiction That Parents Don't Address
Ever since I was little, I was always told that I could never date or have a boyfriend till after college. Ever since I was little, I honored that to the best of my ability. Unfortunately, I broke both those two rules. I learned my lesson and resumed my adamant stance without question. I knew that my parents only did this to protect me, and I understood it. I have had to use my rejection speech so many times that it comes second nature.
Today was a day of angering revelation: my mother told me I could bring a guy home and if they approved, I'd be able to date that guy.
WTHECK????????????????????????????????????
When did the chains surrounding me and holding me from involving myself with the opposite sex break?? No one told me of this. And the way I found out about it occurred in this order. Now as you read this, you will no doubt become confused. No, really. You WILL be confused because there's just no other way to understand this. Don't believe me? Well, let's see. Here goes:
So my mother and a family friend are talking about dating, marriage, and such. The whole nine yards about how teenagers don't know what they're doing when it comes to stuff like that.
I speak up and say that we should be able to date. And in my mind, here's my reason. Because at this age, who really is looking for someone eligible enough for marriage? If we're mature enough, we understand that marriage is a serious thing and it should be done the way God intended for it to be. Right???
So they go off on some tangent for the longest time, so I get fed up with it and bring it back to dating. For me, what's so bad that I can't date until after college when I'm settled with my own place and stuff?
THEN my mother says that I CAN date. That I CAN bring home a guy and that if they approve, we can go out.
WHAT?? I make a face and in my head I'm thinking..."NOW HOLD ON...ONE...SECOND!!!" When did she change her mind? And why didn't she tell me???
So I tell her, in frustration and in no articulate way at all, that she was contradicting herself. Because just two weeks ago, she was talking about dating to a relative and said that I wasn't allowed to date until after college, etc. And she's been saying the same thing for THE LONGEST time whenever people ask if I have a boyfriend or not.
Then she goes, "No, I never said that. You misunderstood me."
UHHHHHHHH......For those of you who have known me for quite a while and actually read this (bless your hearts), you can TOTALLY understand the frustration I was experiencing. My mother just contradicted herself. SHE DID!!! But she's still turning this onto me saying that I didn't understand her.
What is there to misunderstand about the words, "You can't date or have a boyfriend until after college when you've settled into your own place." REALLY! What's there to misinterpret?? So I point that out. And I add on that she's told me several times that I'm not mature enough to date anyway. And I totally attached that to the string of contradictions this woman just spitted out in the past 30 minutes.
So here's the outline if you got just as confused as me:
Whatever. I don't care. I won't date anyway. I'm not date material. And I don't plan on getting married or having kids. Mostly because I don't want to give my parents the pleasure of having grandchildren to contradict with and whose lives they can ruin. No. That's just not about to happen.
Today was a day of angering revelation: my mother told me I could bring a guy home and if they approved, I'd be able to date that guy.
WTHECK????????????????????????????????????
When did the chains surrounding me and holding me from involving myself with the opposite sex break?? No one told me of this. And the way I found out about it occurred in this order. Now as you read this, you will no doubt become confused. No, really. You WILL be confused because there's just no other way to understand this. Don't believe me? Well, let's see. Here goes:
So my mother and a family friend are talking about dating, marriage, and such. The whole nine yards about how teenagers don't know what they're doing when it comes to stuff like that.
I speak up and say that we should be able to date. And in my mind, here's my reason. Because at this age, who really is looking for someone eligible enough for marriage? If we're mature enough, we understand that marriage is a serious thing and it should be done the way God intended for it to be. Right???
So they go off on some tangent for the longest time, so I get fed up with it and bring it back to dating. For me, what's so bad that I can't date until after college when I'm settled with my own place and stuff?
THEN my mother says that I CAN date. That I CAN bring home a guy and that if they approve, we can go out.
WHAT?? I make a face and in my head I'm thinking..."NOW HOLD ON...ONE...SECOND!!!" When did she change her mind? And why didn't she tell me???
So I tell her, in frustration and in no articulate way at all, that she was contradicting herself. Because just two weeks ago, she was talking about dating to a relative and said that I wasn't allowed to date until after college, etc. And she's been saying the same thing for THE LONGEST time whenever people ask if I have a boyfriend or not.
Then she goes, "No, I never said that. You misunderstood me."
UHHHHHHHH......For those of you who have known me for quite a while and actually read this (bless your hearts), you can TOTALLY understand the frustration I was experiencing. My mother just contradicted herself. SHE DID!!! But she's still turning this onto me saying that I didn't understand her.
What is there to misunderstand about the words, "You can't date or have a boyfriend until after college when you've settled into your own place." REALLY! What's there to misinterpret?? So I point that out. And I add on that she's told me several times that I'm not mature enough to date anyway. And I totally attached that to the string of contradictions this woman just spitted out in the past 30 minutes.
So here's the outline if you got just as confused as me:
- "You can't date or have a boyfriend until after college when you've settled into your own place."
- Turns to, "You can bring a guy home and if we approve, we'll let you date him."
- Turns to, "No you can't date because you're not mature enough."
- Turns to, "No you misunderstood me. You can date."
- Turns to, "I saw the way you acted in high school with those boys. You're not mature enough (aka you're still the same stupid hormonal teenager just like all the other ones who are on statistics)
- Turns to, "You can't date or have a boyfriend until after college when you've settled into your own place."
Whatever. I don't care. I won't date anyway. I'm not date material. And I don't plan on getting married or having kids. Mostly because I don't want to give my parents the pleasure of having grandchildren to contradict with and whose lives they can ruin. No. That's just not about to happen.