I Think There's Something Wrong With Me...

It's too hot here
my neck is scorching with this chain holding me down
I can't move
If I do, they'll see me
They'll coming rushing to burn me even more
They hold those weapons in their hands
Long poles with fire emanating out of them

They circle around me
If I even twitch, they'll see
I don't want them to know that I'm still alive
Barely alive, really
Hiding myself in this shell I'm trapped in
I have no choice but to slowly die here

I made a mistake
It was a trap from the beginning
A trap to corner me here and hold me down
They want my blood
They want everything I have
I can't let that happen
I can't give up

These material things that brought me here
They looked intriguing and friendly
Harmless at first
Till I realized that they were nothing
But a scheme
To show me how foolish I was
To show me how alone I am
To show me how my soul would soon be theirs

I won't lie
I'm afraid
I avoid looking into my captor's faces
For if I do
I feel as if they'll finish me off for good

So now I lay here
With my body slowly decaying under their watchful gaze
They can't wait to eat my carcass once I'm dead

Who will save me?
The Father which art in Heaven?
No, I don't deserve such a rescue
I have sins ill-befitting an heir to the Kingdom
I don't want to face the shame of what I've done

No one else knows I'm here
The one they talk to now
Is only a shadow of a memory
That shadow lingers to blind their eyes

For I don't want them to see my humiliation
My fall from self-attained grace
And when I am truly gone
My absence will not be missed

I was nothing but a shadow before
And inevitably
All shadows disappear under the sun

It is over for me
Only a matter of time before they devour
This body
This mind
This heart
This soul

I don't want to live anymore
I envy those who are cold to pain
Unfeeling
Not knowing
Nor realizing
That I crave to lie as they do
Unmoving

There is no such thing as starting anew
There is no such thing as redemption
There is only death
There is only separation from this world
That is my ultimate end
I accept this fate with open arms and a mourning heart
Farewell

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