Squeezed and Strained.
This year has been incredibly difficult and painful. I find myself at the brink of a breakdown almost every day now. Whenever that feeling begins to break through, I immediately want to pack everything up and leave. I don't know why I've been feeling this way or what started it. Many different reasons come to my mind when I try to mull it over in those blurry, incoherent moments before I drift off to sleep. Even then, I tend to not dwell on it for too long in case it overwhelms me and I end up in a fetal position, crying until I drown all of these thoughts out. Doesn't this all make me sound insane? Maybe that's why I haven't talked to anyone about it. The process of going through it in my mind is more than what I can handle as it is. Silence and isolation is what I crave the most and run to in those times of slight panic and fear. I can't even fully confide in Zack, since he has his own problems that he needs my help with. It seems horribly ironic; a