Still ___________
Height: 5'2"
Weight: 110 lbs
State of mind: frustrated anger
This has been the most amusing few months, I must admit. Who knew that such events would unfold in my life? If you had told me this last year, would I have believed you? I'm not sure. Maybe. Maybe not. But no one can remove themselves from this present to change the future for their own benefit. However, that is what I wish for at this moment. To make a decision, to say the words that should've altered the reality I exist in now. But, as I have already mentioned on another blog (so as to keep prying eyes away from what I'm really feeling since what I'm feeling is wrong according to some people) , I don't appreciate reminiscing about past ventures. Ventures that recently have left me scarred and aggravated to no end. When a venture is cut off due to certain feelings, actions, and so on, it is completely erased from my mind. I remember anything about it no more. Good things, bad things, and things in-between are immediately thrown out with the garbage, so to speak. What individual finds happiness in remembering the poison that almost killed them? What soldier wants to remember the betrayal that left them with fewer allies? What woman wants to remember the suffering caused by a significant other's words and actions?
Unnecessary aspects of a venture gone awry are unnecessary for a reason. We find them exorbitant and superfluous because it does not relate to the venture at all. It may, if the venture were about those things, but if it is not, why must they still be brought up? Immaturity is not because I blog about the way I feel. I blog to relieve stress for myself. Now whether you like what I say or not, it does not matter. It's my blog. Now if you happen to consider me immature for typing this on my blog, then I have even a more reason to believe that you are, in fact, the one with a dose of immaturity. Because the choice here is just to not read it. Simple. This is not a jab. It's a piece of advice. Stop reading if you can't handle it. And to continue reading in that state of finding fault in my feelings is more than callow. It shows that the fire inside still looks for tiny pieces of timber to burn so that it can eventually consume the whole forest. And that in itself reveals who the true jejune person is in this departed venture.
It's frustrating to know that the mice still fall for the cat's trap in this world. I've lost sleep, lost weight, lost sound of mind trying to make sure the mice learn their lesson. But I am through trying and failing. They say keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. But I couldn't disagree more. Poison is poison, and enemies are enemies. There's no way around it.