Morning Has Broken...

The sunrise used to calm my heart and give me a refreshed feeling; as that of one who experiences life anew. But these recent months, the same has brought me fear and loathing. I no longer breathe the new air as I once did. The air surrounding me now only further stirs my apprehension. God, when did I leave Your side?

It seems so long ago that I started getting close to You...but now, You're as far away as the stars and the sun. I can no longer see Your face in my mind's eye. Nor can I feel Your will working in my life. Have I fallen from Grace? Have I gone so far away that You refuse to reach out for me anymore? How did I lose everything when I tried to have it all?

I truly am a pathetic human being. I did not recognize the signs; the warnings. And now, I feel as if it is much too late; too late to crawl out of this dark hole towards the Light. I seem to fall deeper with every struggle towards the Warmth I welcomed with open arms long ago. My soul cringes as the Light barely touches my core. It burns. I know It's supposed to, though. It must, for this illness to dissipate. But when will these thoughts turn into actions? When will I accept my punishment for falling from You with a ready heart?