The Itch.
The past two weeks have been absolutely dreadful. My eczema on my left arm has gotten even worse and the small patch on my upper right arm has grown.
Today, I caught myself scratching so much that I drew blood.
DISGUSTING.
The hydrocortisone isn't enough anymore. It barely does anything. Between the burning from the open sores I've created and the unbearable itchy sensation, I basically resemble a heroine addict.
I know people have noticed and it honestly doesn't bother me too much anymore. All the stress, emotional roller coasters, and mental exhaustion have continued to solidify their physical manifestations on my body. I feel more self conscious about myself at times, and at others, I could care less.
The eczema has spread to my upper thighs now. It's not too bad at the moment, but I know with every situation that becomes a struggle for me, it will become even worse. It really is only a matter of time.
I want to so badly go to the doctor, but you know immigrant parents. They'd rather you use every other type of "remedy" even though there is clearly one already in front of them. And then right when they finally let you go see a doctor, your condition has so unnecessarily worsened.
If only the pharmaceutical companies still made Elecon. That stuff really did the trick back when my eczema was still manageable.
At least my neck has gotten better. It's no longer dry and flaky.
I've been praying so much lately for God to help me with this. I don't mean with just my eczema; because, the real cause is much deeper. What with my cousin estranging me over a dumb girl, to Zack and I dealing with his family hating me, to the constant negativity I have been receiving from my parents (mostly from my dad); it's honestly no wonder why this breakout has lasted so long.
Hopefully, my mom will let me see a doctor soon. I don't know how much more I can handle. I already feel terrible about myself especially after the messages Zack and I saw from his mom and the two faced attitude I've been seeing in everyone. It makes me feel sick.
Being fake doesn't mean you're tolerating someone. And I'm tired of people thinking that it's okay to act this way. It's dishonest and it's stupid. If you don't like me, then come right out and say it. I'm not about to pretend that everything is okay when it obviously isn't.
Dang it. My arms are itchy again. Don't scratch.
Too late.
Today, I caught myself scratching so much that I drew blood.
DISGUSTING.
The hydrocortisone isn't enough anymore. It barely does anything. Between the burning from the open sores I've created and the unbearable itchy sensation, I basically resemble a heroine addict.
I know people have noticed and it honestly doesn't bother me too much anymore. All the stress, emotional roller coasters, and mental exhaustion have continued to solidify their physical manifestations on my body. I feel more self conscious about myself at times, and at others, I could care less.
The eczema has spread to my upper thighs now. It's not too bad at the moment, but I know with every situation that becomes a struggle for me, it will become even worse. It really is only a matter of time.
I want to so badly go to the doctor, but you know immigrant parents. They'd rather you use every other type of "remedy" even though there is clearly one already in front of them. And then right when they finally let you go see a doctor, your condition has so unnecessarily worsened.
If only the pharmaceutical companies still made Elecon. That stuff really did the trick back when my eczema was still manageable.
At least my neck has gotten better. It's no longer dry and flaky.
I've been praying so much lately for God to help me with this. I don't mean with just my eczema; because, the real cause is much deeper. What with my cousin estranging me over a dumb girl, to Zack and I dealing with his family hating me, to the constant negativity I have been receiving from my parents (mostly from my dad); it's honestly no wonder why this breakout has lasted so long.
Hopefully, my mom will let me see a doctor soon. I don't know how much more I can handle. I already feel terrible about myself especially after the messages Zack and I saw from his mom and the two faced attitude I've been seeing in everyone. It makes me feel sick.
Being fake doesn't mean you're tolerating someone. And I'm tired of people thinking that it's okay to act this way. It's dishonest and it's stupid. If you don't like me, then come right out and say it. I'm not about to pretend that everything is okay when it obviously isn't.
Dang it. My arms are itchy again. Don't scratch.
Too late.