Floating in Limbo
Not sure how I feel right now.
My head is a mix of relief, frustration, and disappointment.
A lot of things were said tonight; some were helpful; some were worrying. On the one hand, Zack and I were able to express how we feel about Vanessa and Alex. To the best of our abilities we conveyed how much we dislike the treatment we've received from them. For some reason, we were called (in a passive aggressive kind of way) jealous, and told that our feelings may be somewhat misplaced; perhaps because we are not happy with where our lives are. Something Zack and I were offended at and immediately addressed. On the other hand, it felt as if we weren't completely understood because Jenny kept defending Vanessa; almost to a fault.
Then she and Larry proceeded to tell us how much they love us and wouldn't talk about this if they didn't care.
I'm so confused by that.
See, the way I view what people say (and I need to observe this in myself more) usually includes me matching up their words to their actions. Their words did not match up to their actions...
And Vanessa's words do not match her actions.
Like I said in previous posts, all her attempts at trying to play the victim is cowardly and manipulative. She is letting Jenny play mediator instead of doing anything on her own because "she doesn't want to talk about it till we're ready." From our point of view, that looks like she's waiting for us to make the first move which usually translates to her expecting an apology. Something that won't happen because we didn't do anything wrong. And no, one negligible attempt from MONTHS ago, does not count as trying. Sure, Zack didn't respond, but that doesn't mean that that gives them an excuse to say that they truly tried. Facebook, email, phone numbers. There are no excuses; regardless of what is happening in their lives. If they really cared about what was going on, they would make an effort and put in the time to fix it. The effort exerted does not equal the work needed to address our issues with them.
So why do I need to understand their situation? There is no need to because there is no excuse on their part.
It especially disturbed me to hear Jenny say that it would have been more adult of Zack and I to just forget what Vanessa has done to us. I don't think Jenny realizes how hurtful that was.
Whether she finds out about it or not, I felt like she is still on Vanessa's side under the guise of "making everything okay and everyone to get along." Sure Zack wants to see his brother from time to time but that feeling does not in any way stretch to Vanessa.
Alas, they won't see it that way because Vanessa is blameless. I am the one who is flawed and in need of behavior adjustment. Apparently, I'm not really in a position to say anything against her because everything she says and does has a perfectly good reason behind it and good intentions.
Seriously, they expect me to believe that disgusting crap? Whatever.
For now, we're going to work on what's going on with Jenny. Time will definitely tell what happens after that. However, there is one thing I am still certain of; Vanessa is the worst thing to ever affect my life. I am forever scarred from her treatment to us and nothing Jenny can say will ever change that.
My head is a mix of relief, frustration, and disappointment.
A lot of things were said tonight; some were helpful; some were worrying. On the one hand, Zack and I were able to express how we feel about Vanessa and Alex. To the best of our abilities we conveyed how much we dislike the treatment we've received from them. For some reason, we were called (in a passive aggressive kind of way) jealous, and told that our feelings may be somewhat misplaced; perhaps because we are not happy with where our lives are. Something Zack and I were offended at and immediately addressed. On the other hand, it felt as if we weren't completely understood because Jenny kept defending Vanessa; almost to a fault.
Then she and Larry proceeded to tell us how much they love us and wouldn't talk about this if they didn't care.
I'm so confused by that.
See, the way I view what people say (and I need to observe this in myself more) usually includes me matching up their words to their actions. Their words did not match up to their actions...
And Vanessa's words do not match her actions.
Like I said in previous posts, all her attempts at trying to play the victim is cowardly and manipulative. She is letting Jenny play mediator instead of doing anything on her own because "she doesn't want to talk about it till we're ready." From our point of view, that looks like she's waiting for us to make the first move which usually translates to her expecting an apology. Something that won't happen because we didn't do anything wrong. And no, one negligible attempt from MONTHS ago, does not count as trying. Sure, Zack didn't respond, but that doesn't mean that that gives them an excuse to say that they truly tried. Facebook, email, phone numbers. There are no excuses; regardless of what is happening in their lives. If they really cared about what was going on, they would make an effort and put in the time to fix it. The effort exerted does not equal the work needed to address our issues with them.
So why do I need to understand their situation? There is no need to because there is no excuse on their part.
It especially disturbed me to hear Jenny say that it would have been more adult of Zack and I to just forget what Vanessa has done to us. I don't think Jenny realizes how hurtful that was.
Whether she finds out about it or not, I felt like she is still on Vanessa's side under the guise of "making everything okay and everyone to get along." Sure Zack wants to see his brother from time to time but that feeling does not in any way stretch to Vanessa.
Alas, they won't see it that way because Vanessa is blameless. I am the one who is flawed and in need of behavior adjustment. Apparently, I'm not really in a position to say anything against her because everything she says and does has a perfectly good reason behind it and good intentions.
Seriously, they expect me to believe that disgusting crap? Whatever.
For now, we're going to work on what's going on with Jenny. Time will definitely tell what happens after that. However, there is one thing I am still certain of; Vanessa is the worst thing to ever affect my life. I am forever scarred from her treatment to us and nothing Jenny can say will ever change that.