2008 Confessions
So many taboos. "New Year's Resolutions" "Starting Over"
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah
I hate it all. Why do people do it though?? Less than 5% of the American population actually pull through with their new year goals. But still, we all go through the motions of at least making one to say that we did since everyone else has.
And, well, I have one too. But I plan to actually not just make it a New Year's Resolution, but a lifelong one.
All my life I've always been the pretentious type. I always did my best to be sincere in all that I say. And...I've sincerely failed at it. See, I always thought that if you don't like a person but think in your head that you like them, you begin to naturally feel that way. You know, the whole mind over matter thing. But to be honest, I've grown to be such a fake person that sometimes I make myself sick just thinking about all the pretentious things I've said and done.
I know I said I wouldn't talk about it anymore on this blog...and technically I'm not. But since I've been reading a lot of notes on facebook, myspace, etc. I feel that it's necessary to write my mind out here.
Honestly, I get so uncomfortable around homosexuals. Even though I'm friends with some who are either homosexual or bisexual, it still gives me pause whenever I'm caught up in their lifestyle. I'm not saying that I participate literally, but in a way, I do have a hand in it. Basically, I don't speak up. I let things slide. And as a Christian, that says something. That I don't love God enough to stand up for what He has deemed to be Right and Wrong. yeah yeah yeah I know what some or most or whatever number of you might or are thinking right now. They're my friends. I should wish for their happiness and not try to make them miserable with my religious rantings.
I know this.
However, wouldn't a good friend give their opinion on something they think their friend is doing wrong if they truly cared? Of course, I'm not saying that we should all speak our mind on everything we don't agree on with our best buds. That would result in idiotic chaos based on that decision. No. I'm talking about sensibly and logically speaking about something that one friend really thinks should be addressed. And as for the other friend, I believe that it's imperative to at least hear them out. True? Then why are so many friendships ruined because one said that they didn't agree with the homo or bisexual lifestyle the other was living?
WHY?
I believe that friendship was utterly foolish and not strong enough to test through it. Pity. I would have more friends if this wasn't the case. But at least I know that many people do not care to listen to things like this....homosexual or not.
wow this is a long blog
eh.
I'll keep going.
Many of you will start thinking "We all know this..WHY the heck are you telling us??"
Well, yea. I know that too. But for this coming year, and all the others to follow, I plan to remind not only you, my virtual audience, but also myself. I don't want to live this life full of masks. It's empty and pointless. Agreed?
And to begin this I would like to say to Carlo, Jedd, Cherylene, and all my other friends and relatives who are either homosexual or bisexual: I don't like the way you live. In fact, I hate it. Killing me from seeing what you do does not begin to chip off the Mt. Everest of pain that I feel when I see you. I feel close to death whenever the topic of serious crossdressing, sex, inuendos, etc comes up. I wish that you could see what your decision is doing to those around you. Truthfully, the theories out there that claim we are all born with it or not or that we are born somewhere on the spectrum between completely straight and gay are lies that Satan has successfully fed to the entire world. I wish that you would realize that.
I know you'll hate me for saying this, but it's what must be said. We as humans do not know what we want. We don't know what on this earth will make us happy. "Whatever makes you happy" and "Whatever is right for you" are excuses to escape from what God already planned out for us. Do you all think you know better than Him? Go ahead. Deny His existance. Justify your sin. Refuse the Truth. But "Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord." God knows I live for myself 80% of the time. I'm not perfect. None of us are. But it wasn't our job. It isn't our job. It will never be our job to be perfect. Jesus already did it for us.
So why do we constantly live the way "we" think is right? It's selfishness and pride is what it is people. Alright, keep saying that people should have a right to be happy. But don't you dare take it back now..because when you apply it to Charles Manson, Jeffery Dahmer, BTK, Jack the Ripper, Scott Peterson, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Courtney Love, Heath Ledger, Vanessa Hudgens, Russell Crowe, Clint Eastwood etc the perspective may or may not change.
Look, beat me down all you want. I'll take it. Not because I'm angry. I'm actually broken right now and I can't hold these haunting feelings any longer. But because it's not my words. It's not because I think it's right. It's because it's God's Will that we not live the way we do. In lust, greed, gluttony, anger, envy, sloth, and pride we live..and in doing so, we separate ourselves from true happiness. God isn't some old man sitting at his desk waiting to press the ten plagues button on us. He's our Heavenly Father waiting for us to ask Him to help us. To leave all our carnal desires behind and reach out for the Life that is abundant and eternal in happiness.
Happy New Years Everyone
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah
I hate it all. Why do people do it though?? Less than 5% of the American population actually pull through with their new year goals. But still, we all go through the motions of at least making one to say that we did since everyone else has.
And, well, I have one too. But I plan to actually not just make it a New Year's Resolution, but a lifelong one.
All my life I've always been the pretentious type. I always did my best to be sincere in all that I say. And...I've sincerely failed at it. See, I always thought that if you don't like a person but think in your head that you like them, you begin to naturally feel that way. You know, the whole mind over matter thing. But to be honest, I've grown to be such a fake person that sometimes I make myself sick just thinking about all the pretentious things I've said and done.
I know I said I wouldn't talk about it anymore on this blog...and technically I'm not. But since I've been reading a lot of notes on facebook, myspace, etc. I feel that it's necessary to write my mind out here.
Honestly, I get so uncomfortable around homosexuals. Even though I'm friends with some who are either homosexual or bisexual, it still gives me pause whenever I'm caught up in their lifestyle. I'm not saying that I participate literally, but in a way, I do have a hand in it. Basically, I don't speak up. I let things slide. And as a Christian, that says something. That I don't love God enough to stand up for what He has deemed to be Right and Wrong. yeah yeah yeah I know what some or most or whatever number of you might or are thinking right now. They're my friends. I should wish for their happiness and not try to make them miserable with my religious rantings.
I know this.
However, wouldn't a good friend give their opinion on something they think their friend is doing wrong if they truly cared? Of course, I'm not saying that we should all speak our mind on everything we don't agree on with our best buds. That would result in idiotic chaos based on that decision. No. I'm talking about sensibly and logically speaking about something that one friend really thinks should be addressed. And as for the other friend, I believe that it's imperative to at least hear them out. True? Then why are so many friendships ruined because one said that they didn't agree with the homo or bisexual lifestyle the other was living?
WHY?
I believe that friendship was utterly foolish and not strong enough to test through it. Pity. I would have more friends if this wasn't the case. But at least I know that many people do not care to listen to things like this....homosexual or not.
wow this is a long blog
eh.
I'll keep going.
Many of you will start thinking "We all know this..WHY the heck are you telling us??"
Well, yea. I know that too. But for this coming year, and all the others to follow, I plan to remind not only you, my virtual audience, but also myself. I don't want to live this life full of masks. It's empty and pointless. Agreed?
And to begin this I would like to say to Carlo, Jedd, Cherylene, and all my other friends and relatives who are either homosexual or bisexual: I don't like the way you live. In fact, I hate it. Killing me from seeing what you do does not begin to chip off the Mt. Everest of pain that I feel when I see you. I feel close to death whenever the topic of serious crossdressing, sex, inuendos, etc comes up. I wish that you could see what your decision is doing to those around you. Truthfully, the theories out there that claim we are all born with it or not or that we are born somewhere on the spectrum between completely straight and gay are lies that Satan has successfully fed to the entire world. I wish that you would realize that.
I know you'll hate me for saying this, but it's what must be said. We as humans do not know what we want. We don't know what on this earth will make us happy. "Whatever makes you happy" and "Whatever is right for you" are excuses to escape from what God already planned out for us. Do you all think you know better than Him? Go ahead. Deny His existance. Justify your sin. Refuse the Truth. But "Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord." God knows I live for myself 80% of the time. I'm not perfect. None of us are. But it wasn't our job. It isn't our job. It will never be our job to be perfect. Jesus already did it for us.
So why do we constantly live the way "we" think is right? It's selfishness and pride is what it is people. Alright, keep saying that people should have a right to be happy. But don't you dare take it back now..because when you apply it to Charles Manson, Jeffery Dahmer, BTK, Jack the Ripper, Scott Peterson, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Courtney Love, Heath Ledger, Vanessa Hudgens, Russell Crowe, Clint Eastwood etc the perspective may or may not change.
Look, beat me down all you want. I'll take it. Not because I'm angry. I'm actually broken right now and I can't hold these haunting feelings any longer. But because it's not my words. It's not because I think it's right. It's because it's God's Will that we not live the way we do. In lust, greed, gluttony, anger, envy, sloth, and pride we live..and in doing so, we separate ourselves from true happiness. God isn't some old man sitting at his desk waiting to press the ten plagues button on us. He's our Heavenly Father waiting for us to ask Him to help us. To leave all our carnal desires behind and reach out for the Life that is abundant and eternal in happiness.
Happy New Years Everyone
