Share the Ube.

I've been to three weddings so far this year; and with each I find myself being asked by someone the same question that makes me resent weddings even more. "When are you going to get married?" If only it were possible to truly sink into the crust of the earth or instantly hide in that quiet and safe place in my mind. Whenever I hear those words, I feel a bit of anger and resentment towards the person who said it. I want to lash out at them for asking something so personal; but in reality, it's a question that I have been avoiding to answer. Fake smiles and giggles can only go so far. As I partook in each wedding I kept going over in my mind all of the "what if's" and "if only's" of the future I might have with Zack. I mean, neither of us are in the place we said we'd be five years ago. We haven't finished our studies, Zack is the only one working right now, we haven't saved up any money, we spend more than we make, we...

Life is so messed up. MY life is so messed up. Sometimes we think the detours will get us there faster. Look at all the detours we take just to start a car or wash dishes! For me, it's pride. Pride is the name of my GPS. Course, I keep getting led to failure. Wonder how I could've missed the signs along the way. God's been trying to get me back on track. He keeps offering to take the wheel and get me where I need to be, but Pride has a knack for making me refuse. "It's easier this way." "You kill two birds with one stone." The easy way sucks. I need to stop looking at the present satisfaction of these detours and look down the main road to where I need to go. Long road. But this way, I know I won't get sidetracked or distracted by life's glittery signs. And I think the first thing to get out of my way is ME. My selfishness got me in this deep pit of quicksand. Time to change that. Well, it's 1:00 in the morning. I believe I ...

Okay, this is going to be SUPER embarrassing for me to talk about, but I just want to vent. Plus, I haven't blogged in a while, so I think it's better to kill two birds with one stone. So. Here it goes.... I want straight teeth. Badly. Hahahaha that was so awkward!! Even now, my fingers are twitching to start over with a different topic. I really would like to have straight teeth. It's embarrassing sometimes to smile or laugh because my teeth are so weird. I mean, I didn't get them fixed before 1) because my dentist said I didn't need them at the time, and 2) I didn't want to burden my parents with the cost. Still, after all that time, it sticks out in my mind like a bad parking job in the Walmart parking lot. I've been told my teeth are okay, but somehow, I feel as if I'm being told that for my appeasement. Not cool, y'all. XD Why didn't you guys tell me I look like a filipino doormouse?? Maybe THAT'S why...ah, nevermind that last pa...