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" ...Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness: that even the love between the sexes is, as in Dante, 'a lord of terrible aspect.' There is kindness in love: but love and kindness are not coterminous, and when kindness (in the sense given above) is separated from the other elements of love, it involves a certain fundamental indifference to its object, and even something like contempt of it. Kindness consents very readily to the removal of its object - we have all met people whose kindness to animals is constantly leading them to kill animals lest they should suffer. Kindness, merely as such, cares not whether its object becomes good or bad, provided only that it escapes suffering. As Scripture points out, it is bastards who are spoiled: the legitimate sons, who are to carry on the family tradition, are punished. It is for people whom we care nothing about that we demand happiness on any terms: with our friends, our loves, our children we are exacting and...

Wow, it's been so long since I last wrote something on here! Gosh, I miss it. But I'll be honest, this isn't the first time since my last post that I've tried to type up something. It's hard to crank out a post worth reading when there are too many things going through a mind like mine. I've attempted again and again, but for reasons only known to me, I haven't been able to put down any thoughts that made sense. But now's the time!! So! Moving right along... Quite a lot has happened. There's been heartbreaking stuff that still makes me tear up at the slightest mention of them. There's been other stuff that's caused me to just break out in sobs. It's a bit ridiculous. I mean, I haven't cried like this since February! What in the world?? Anyway, I just wanted to say, "Thank God for MUSIC." 'Nough said, right? Haha. God has helped me through all my situations with music. And even though it's not the best of ...

I loved "Twilight." When it was still a book in the beginning of an unfinished series, I loved it. I would daydream about Edward and Jacob all time; especially about Carlisle ;D A good friend of mine had told me about the book so many times, but I didn't believe her until I read it for myself. Then, it all changed when the fandom went from a few thousand to a few million. The numbers sky-rocketed when rumors of a movie began circulating among the crazy fans on the internet. By that time, I wasn't impressed. It was no longer like having a secret treasure of literature but an annoying book that instantly turned all the women around me to creepy obsessed fans. My irritation worsened when the movie opened. Books really should not be made into movies. Just saying. I know my opinion does not matter much, nor am I purposefully trying to piss any of you off; I am merely trying to explain something. Anyway,up till now, I didn't have a problem with understanding ...

Well who knew?? Elephants CAN scare themselves with their own sneeze! So here's another post. Finally woke up. But it wasn't from sleep. Just my personal concoction of ignorance and pride. I used to love riding my bike. I used to love being outside. Somehow my mind was made to believe that I didn't really love those things. It wasn't so much the television shows, celebrity pictures, or the culture as much as it was my own skewed view of who I am and what I love. You may think it's a bit silly, but I used to ride my bike for hours around my pool. Nowhere else. Looking at the pool now from my bedroom window, it's incredible that I didn't realize how cramped it was. Still, I was able to stay in that one area from the time I got home from school till it became too cold to be outside. Hahah, I would even wear this sundress with bike shorts underneath. Thought the dress was pretty at the time. I don't know where it is now, but the las...

I'm insane. I must be. Is it even possible for someone such as myself to have this view? I favor my fiction over reality. Sure, it's not real and fiction doesn't live a life with other people in it. Fiction doesn't get up in the morning and wish that by going to the bathroom, she might find that she's lost weight. Fiction doesn't get into car accidents. Fiction doesn't feel pain. Fiction doesn't live; neither does it die. But why would that be such a bad thing? All these emotions in me that cause a kind of psychological riot would rather be just like fiction; numb and unfeeling. No one wants to get hurt, and if you're going to say, "but what's the point of living?" or "life isn't life without a few risks" then I hope you stop reading right now. In my fiction, I have so much power. I am a ruthless dictator, an experiment bent on vengeance, a misunderstood nobody, a celebrity, a wealthy sibling of a family of mercena...

Another storm today...there's actually thunder this time; and lightning although I can't see it. Did you guys get a chance to look out your window in the afternoon yesterday? When the rain stopped, and the sun was shining? When the wind slowed down and the clouds started to part? It's kind of cheesy to say, but it was so refreshing to step outside into that sunlight with the air so crisp and clean. Raindrops were hanging off of leaves and gardening equipment, and it looked as if everything was reflecting a dewy light. It's corny, I get it. haha. But like I said yesterday, it was inspiring! I got a journal from my cousin and decided to write letters in it...along with other random stuff that would have even Conan laughing for a good ten minutes. The letters I've written so far (all three of them haha) are to certain people who have passed through my life. People I either don't associate with or talk to anymore. But after writing out all those feelings I ...

Sick of it. No way around saying that I'm Sick of it. People like making excuses For their actions For their thoughts But I'm sick of it. "I'm doing this because I love them" "I said that because I care" It's crap is what it is. Making excuses for The jerks The douchebags The losers When they already make excuses for themselves They don't need you to do that for them But people still do People still believe that there's good in all But they forget that there's more evil inside Putting the blame on yourself STOP Take a step back and really see That both sides are at fault People need to realize that Love should only go so far And I mean the other side When the other side takes advantage of it I'm telling you now I've told you before I quit because You can't hear me anymore They're abusing you They're using you They're blinding you They're hurting you Why can't you leave them? Oh, I know You LOVE them, right?...