Fed Up
Now I see. Now I get it. It all makes sense now.
You all don't give a crap, do you? Sure, you'll say some nice things. You'll say you'll pray for me. You'll give me a hug. You'll give me a verse to memorize. But you can't fool me. None of you can. You jerks should all know...that I can read if a person is being sincere or not. It's not in the way you speak, or the way you look at me. I won't even tell you how I know.
But the point is, I'm fed up with all your crap. You think I want a pity party? You think I want your sympathy? I just want you to be able to hear me out and really BE THERE for me. I blog. I email. I text. I talk on the phone. But it makes no difference! No amount of your empty words will ever make me believe you.
Because if there's one thing about me that I'm really good at, it's being sincere. It's not like some skill I picked up. I can't just pull it out of a hat. No, it's ALWAYS real. I lend myself to feel the pain that others are feeling. I purposefully get attached so that I can understand better; even if it means sobbing just as much as you. And why do that? Because I KNOW that's what a person needs the most in those situations.
But I haven't gotten much of that sincerity back. Ohhh, no. Instead, I've gotten silence. I've gotten the look that says, "give it up already. I've heard this a thousand times." I've gotten hollow words and promises.
And you know what? I'm done. You won't hear about how I'm really feeling anymore. You won't read about any of my struggles. Why? Well, what's the point when everyone around you doesn't really give a damn? Yea, I typed it. God forgive me, but it's true. None of you don't. And if you do, you have the worst way in showing it. So that's it. I refuse to talk about my personal life until someone out there can prove to me that they really care. Go on. Try me. I DARE YOU.
You all don't give a crap, do you? Sure, you'll say some nice things. You'll say you'll pray for me. You'll give me a hug. You'll give me a verse to memorize. But you can't fool me. None of you can. You jerks should all know...that I can read if a person is being sincere or not. It's not in the way you speak, or the way you look at me. I won't even tell you how I know.
But the point is, I'm fed up with all your crap. You think I want a pity party? You think I want your sympathy? I just want you to be able to hear me out and really BE THERE for me. I blog. I email. I text. I talk on the phone. But it makes no difference! No amount of your empty words will ever make me believe you.
Because if there's one thing about me that I'm really good at, it's being sincere. It's not like some skill I picked up. I can't just pull it out of a hat. No, it's ALWAYS real. I lend myself to feel the pain that others are feeling. I purposefully get attached so that I can understand better; even if it means sobbing just as much as you. And why do that? Because I KNOW that's what a person needs the most in those situations.
But I haven't gotten much of that sincerity back. Ohhh, no. Instead, I've gotten silence. I've gotten the look that says, "give it up already. I've heard this a thousand times." I've gotten hollow words and promises.
And you know what? I'm done. You won't hear about how I'm really feeling anymore. You won't read about any of my struggles. Why? Well, what's the point when everyone around you doesn't really give a damn? Yea, I typed it. God forgive me, but it's true. None of you don't. And if you do, you have the worst way in showing it. So that's it. I refuse to talk about my personal life until someone out there can prove to me that they really care. Go on. Try me. I DARE YOU.
