Gave Up.
Been having a nice chat with God lately. It's dawned on me that I've been really selfish; making selfish decisions for selfish reasons and only freaking out because the repercussions are more than what I expected. Then there's the vicious cycle of going to church and asking for forgiveness and going back to doing the same old thing all over again.
I HATE IT.
I feel like I've drifted away from God so much. I don't recognize myself anymore. I've lowered my standards and turned a blind eye to things I normally wouldn't stand for. I've disappointed my God, my family, my friends, and myself. Without realizing it, I've given up what was best for me, for stuff that's not helping me at all in the long run.
This isn't the first time I've had to struggle with something so serious. It took me over 10 years to beat my pornography addiction (more on that later). But I had God's help. You have no idea how many times I cried myself to sleep during those dark years. Looks like I've got a few more dark years to go through. I need prayer. I need support. I need understanding. I need Jesus; now more than ever.
I also need ice cream. So, till next time.
I HATE IT.
I feel like I've drifted away from God so much. I don't recognize myself anymore. I've lowered my standards and turned a blind eye to things I normally wouldn't stand for. I've disappointed my God, my family, my friends, and myself. Without realizing it, I've given up what was best for me, for stuff that's not helping me at all in the long run.
This isn't the first time I've had to struggle with something so serious. It took me over 10 years to beat my pornography addiction (more on that later). But I had God's help. You have no idea how many times I cried myself to sleep during those dark years. Looks like I've got a few more dark years to go through. I need prayer. I need support. I need understanding. I need Jesus; now more than ever.
I also need ice cream. So, till next time.
