Gray Skin
Finding the right shade of foundation, concealer, and contour is so difficult for me. Always has been. I've had multiple people try to shade match me only for my face to look too red, too green, gray, orange, pink. Never my actual skin tone. It doesn't help that my face is always darker than my body. I've tried to tan my body, but it takes so much more to tan than it used to. It also doesn't help that I have so much hyperpigmentation from all of the acne my skin has gone through over the years. So whenever I wear makeup I feel like I just end up looking one of the undead.
It seriously sucks since I've been watching makeup tutorials for fifteen years now. Seeing so many people being able to perfectly shade match themselves makes this struggle seem so unnecessary. Why are they able to so easily find what works for them, but I'm not able to? What's wrong with my skin?
In the most recent years, I've come to accept that I may never find the perfect match to my skin tone. Instead, I've worked harder on clearing my skin so that I don't have to wear foundation or concealer. But having hormonal acne tends to put a damper on that dream of clear skin, so I do what I can.
There's no use in denying that most days I just want to give up. I have a drawer full of makeup that I can't really use because I feel like I look so gross when I put it on. And the worst part, is that I really need to be having a good skin day to have a good makeup day. But those good skin days are so few and far between, that it all just seems hopeless and pointless.
Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy for still watching makeup videos. In the back of my mind, I always ask myself if it's even worth it at this point. Why watch all of these people apply makeup that matches them, and makes them look great when it will never work that way for me? Maybe a part of me wants to live vicariously through them all. I'm not sure what else it could be.
Wow, was this a pathetic post or what! I have so many of those, I honestly have little to writer about myself that isn't completely degrading or whiny. I must sound so annoying, but I've always been that way. Hopefully in the future I'll have more confidence in my appearance. Ha, who am I kidding?
It seriously sucks since I've been watching makeup tutorials for fifteen years now. Seeing so many people being able to perfectly shade match themselves makes this struggle seem so unnecessary. Why are they able to so easily find what works for them, but I'm not able to? What's wrong with my skin?
In the most recent years, I've come to accept that I may never find the perfect match to my skin tone. Instead, I've worked harder on clearing my skin so that I don't have to wear foundation or concealer. But having hormonal acne tends to put a damper on that dream of clear skin, so I do what I can.
There's no use in denying that most days I just want to give up. I have a drawer full of makeup that I can't really use because I feel like I look so gross when I put it on. And the worst part, is that I really need to be having a good skin day to have a good makeup day. But those good skin days are so few and far between, that it all just seems hopeless and pointless.
Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy for still watching makeup videos. In the back of my mind, I always ask myself if it's even worth it at this point. Why watch all of these people apply makeup that matches them, and makes them look great when it will never work that way for me? Maybe a part of me wants to live vicariously through them all. I'm not sure what else it could be.
Wow, was this a pathetic post or what! I have so many of those, I honestly have little to writer about myself that isn't completely degrading or whiny. I must sound so annoying, but I've always been that way. Hopefully in the future I'll have more confidence in my appearance. Ha, who am I kidding?
