Share the Ube.

I woke up three times this morning. The first time my mom came into my room to ask me things I didn't want to answer and to tell me things I didn't want to hear. The second time, in a state of semi-consciousness, I signed onto Facebook and thought I saw something that didn't exist. The third time I slowly gained full consciousness because in my dream I kept hearing an incessant buzzing sound which turned out to by my confounded alarm. What a lovely day. Checked that National Weather website just now. Apparently there's "an excessive heat" warning. Go figure. Speaking of figures, mine has finally gone back to normal. Raging female hormones and bloating do not mix well in this ridiculous weather. Of course, "normal" might mean a little extra meat here and there. However, for reasons undecipherable at the moment, I could care less. I'm indecisively content with the way I am. I suppose quoting Jean Kerr would suffice in this situation. Acc...

Whoever wished for it to be summer better be freakin' delirious with joy because I'm sweating so much from just existing here. Thank goodness for homemade iced coffee. I usually don't like drinking coffee, but once I put loads of crushed ice and hazelnut creamer into a cup of french roast? Ahhhhh the things I eat while I'm...under "the curse." However, I can assure you even the angels in heaven were drooling with envy. DANGNABIT. I am getting too obsessed with this song. I've never even seen "The Jerk." But it's so gosh darn catchy! Phooey. Some time in the near future I will look into it.

I hate hot weather with the intensity of a thousand suns. Pun intended. Bit ironic since I live in Califreakinfornia, right? I mean, you'd think I wouldn't mind this heat at all. HA! Yeah right! Now don't get me wrong, most of the time I love it here. Other times, like today? Ehh, not so much. I don't know, this heat just makes me feel extremely sluggish and irritable. For example, today when someone rang the door bell, I snapped at my sister when she refused to help me get the dog out of the way. Well, okay, snapped isn't the right word. More like growled. And now I feel really guilty. Dangnabit. If this heat doesn't abate soon, I'm going to be doing more than just growling at people.

I love Johnny Depp. And not just because I think he has the most amazing cheekbones I've ever laid eyes on. You can make so many hilarious facial expressions with those cheekbones. No, he's also an amazing actor! Not many Gary Oldman's out there if you know what I mean (you probably don't, but that's not relevant). Anyway, I just revisited "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" with my best friend tonight, and might I just say, that this movie (to quote my best friend) fits me PERFECTLY. I didn't realize this till just now! The dark yet vibrant colors, the strange humor, the quirky situations, the music (composed by Danny Elfman. DUH. It's a Tim Burton movie), the creativity! I know not a lot of people liked the film; in fact, most people thought it was horrible. But I thoroughly enjoyed it! Honestly, I could give two pence what other people think. It was a wonderful movie! And it made my weekend to watch it with my best friend. And on that not...

I really do hate those confounded things. Whoever invented them should be taken out and shot. Ever notice something you truly dislike but lack the power to do anything about it? Yeah. I'm there. Or maybe I'm just really paranoid. I am known for over-exaggerating things. You know, being the Drama Queen and all. Mmmm. Well. If what I'm suspecting is true, I can't do much else except get over it. Of course I'm going to cry and eat vast amounts of ice cream, but that's nothing new. Besides all that. GO SPAIN! P.S. Avocado and cilantro humus is AMAZING. Those who disagree should be taken out and shot.

She really does. That aside, I am currently ADDICTED to this artist. She's so good!! Please support her if you like the music!

Thank you. My hope is that one day a grand piano full of pig entrails and used needles will fall on your head while you run away from a stampede of wild buffalo. Not really. I only said that out of sheer anger and frustration. UGHH. To all you nefarious and reprehensibly bad group of people, I can only shake my fist and repeatedly break down into sobs. GOOD DAY.